Forgive Others – For Your Own Peace of Mind

Definition of Forgive

  • to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something you perceive as wrong)
  • to stop blaming (people, places or circumstances)
  • to stop feeling anger about (something)
  • to let go of feeling wronged by someone
  • to stop requiring payment of (money that is owed)

Forgiving to Know More Peace

These thoughts of resentment, anger, and hatred represent slow, debilitating energies that will dis-empower you if you continue to let these thoughts occupy space in your head. If you could just let those thoughts go, you would know more peace.

Your past history and all of your hurts are no longer here in your physical reality. Don’t allow them to be here in your mind, muddying your present moments. Your life is like a play with several acts. Some of the characters who enter have short roles to play, others, much larger. Some are villains and others are good guys. Yet all of them are necessary, otherwise they wouldn’t be in the play. Embrace them all, love them all, forgive them all, and move on to the next act.

You can download and print instructions for the Forgiveness Pocess here.

Holding a Grudge

When someone has wronged you, forgiveness may be the last thing on your mind. You’re convinced they deserve all the anger and hostility you can muster. However, forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. Does your anger harm the other person? In most cases, the other person just stays away.

Holding a grudge is like punching yourself in the face and expecting the other person to say, “Ouch!”

It’s not what the other person did to us that causes the discord,
it’s our thoughts about their behavior that causes distress
and we can change that!
~Abraham Hicks

Forgiveness – the Logical Choice

Forgiveness is the healthy and logical choice for several reasons:

  1. Living in the past steals your present and taints your future. A great future requires an attentive present. That’s not possible if you’re living in the past. Life is happening right now in this moment. Every moment spent in the past is lost forever. Reclaim your life by forgiving and moving on.
  2. Failing to forgive creates misery. Creating and maintaining detrimental thoughts doesn’t feel good. Pleasant thoughts support a pleasant mood. By refusing to forgive the person that wronged you, you’re harming yourself.
  3. Clean up how you respond / react / feel about others.
    Let go those heavy feelings and judgments,
    so you are not using others
    as an excuse to block your alignment.

  4. You’ll be stronger. Forgiveness can be challenging! Staying angry is easy in a certain way. Show yourself just how strong you are. Take a deep breath and forgive. It becomes easier with time.
    As an added bonus, the more forgiving you are, the more others are willing to forgive you!
  5. The past cannot be changed, however your attitude can be. What is the purpose of your anger? If you stay angry for the next ten years, what have you accomplished? Nothing you do today can change what happened yesterday. Change your attitude as quickly as possible and smile again. Stuffed and held anger causes your stress and makes you ill.
  6. They’ll be back sooner or later. Whether you forgive them or not, they’re sure to pop back into your life in the future. In most cases, they’ll act as if nothing ever happened. However, your resentment will make you feel bad all over again if you’re still holding a grudge.
    The sooner you forgive, the sooner you can put the matter to bed; the sooner it will stop causing you to feel anxious, angry and restless.
  7. All humans make mistakes. We’ve all done or said things we later regret. You can’t expect to be forgiven if you’re unwilling to forgive. Living a perfect life and making perfect choices isn’t possible. Mistakes happen — it’s called being human.
  8. Forgiveness may be the best form of revenge. If someone upset you, it’s possible it was intentional. While you might feel the need to strike back, forgiveness is the best policy. Show them you’re enjoying bigger and better things. Living a happy life is the best revenge!
  9. Your health will improve. Happiness and peacefulness undoubtedly support good health and longevity. Live a long and wonderful life. Be forgiving. The Mayo Clinic states that forgiveness can lead to:
    • Healthier relationships
    • Lower blood pressure
    • Stronger immune system
    • Improved heart health
    • Higher self-esteem

    Go ahead, gift yourself with forgiveness, so that you can live healthier.

  10. Forgiveness is fast. Time may heal all wounds, however it can take a long time. Forgiveness is instantaneous. There’s no faster way to enhance your mood than the simple act of forgiveness. Forgiveness is fast, effective, and free. Take advantage of it.

Forgiveness is Self-serving.

Forgiveness is something you do for yourself, because the alternative is harmful to your health, happiness, and future. Be good to yourself. The fact that you’re letting the other person off the hook is secondary. Forgiveness is necessary. Forgetting is optional, depending on the situation.

Self Forgiveness is Mandatory

Remember, when you forgive, include yourself. Forgiveness of self for your participation in anything that others may have perceived as causing them harm is mandatory for your own peace of mind. For your health. For your very life!

Mahatma Gandhi said,
“The weak can never forgive.
Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.”

Forgiveness is for the Strong

Forgive others whether or not they request it; whether or not they apologize. Demanding or expecting an apology, as a condition of your forgiveness, is just setting yourself up for more pain.

Forgiveness requires real strength. The fastest way to heal any transgression against you is forgiveness. Remember that forgiveness doesn’t always mean that you give the other person a second chance. It means that you’re not willing to suffer any longer. It means that you no longer allow the one you perceived as having harmed you to live rent free in your mind.

The Prison Warden

I have met the prison warden.
The name is Unforgiving.
Unforgiveness builds a prison
of our own making.
Forgiveness dissolves those prison walls.
Forgive EVERYONE and EVERYTHING
and live free!

How to forgive?

Recognize there is an issue to resolve and that you have a part in creating this issue. It is an issue from YOUR perspective. It may not even be an issue from the other view point. By taking responsibility for how you choose to respond to anything or anyone, you’re aligning yourself with the beautiful dance of life. Change the way you choose to perceive the power that others have over you and you will see a bright new world of unlimited potential for yourself and you will know instantly how to forgive and let go of anything.

For me, the fastest way I have found to forgiveness is the Hawaiian Ho’oponopono Process: Please forgive me, I forgive you, I forgive me, thank you, I love you. This works very fast for me. While saying the words, I gently tap the outside edge of my hand on what is known as the Karate Chop point. This seems to speed up the clearing.

Click the link to download and print an article describing the entire Forgiveness Process. Please feel free to save to your computer and or print the PDF so that you will always have access to it when you feel the need.

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